Ordinarily, I might refer to this as “tossing out ideas.” Given the context, however, perhaps we should opt for a different phrase.
The topic is littering. The folks at Keep Akron Beautiful are determined to generate a lot more of it.
No, wait. I think what they actually said is they want to devote a lot more attention to it. Yeah, that was it.
Not many groups have come out in favor of littering. Can’t imagine why. It’s just so creative and honorable and selfless and beautiful.
Getting the attention of the knuckleheads who throw stuff out the windows of cars and trucks isn’t easy. But Keep Akron Beautiful is giving it a shot — and offering $100 for your help.
The nonprofit group is ramping up an effort that began last year, when KAB participated in a national ad campaign called “Littering is Wrong, Too.” It featured billboards about things that most folks believe are just not right:
• “Networking at a funeral.”
• “Proposing on a blind date.”
• “Tattooed typos” (featuring a drawing of a guy whose tatt reads: “Mohter”).
This time, Keep Akron Beautiful wants to localize the push, featuring wrongs that are specific to Akron. For instance, the group says, “calling a devil strip a tree lawn” or “not serving sauerkraut balls on New Year’s.”
KAB asked me to judge the contest. Apparently, I am the first person who comes to mind when people start talking about trash.
Starting Monday, you can submit entries via the email address firstname.lastname@example.org or by snail mail to the KAB office at 850 E. Market St., Akron, OH 44305.
For contest rules, visit the website www.keepakronbeautiful.org.
The winner not only will pocket 100 bucks, but also, starting in April, will have the pleasure of seeing his or her brainchild featured on billboards all over the city.
Not much educating was going on in the Akron Public Schools last month.
The first day back from Christmas break was Jan. 6. That left 20 possible days of learning for the month instead of the normal 25.
Subtract the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday and a teacher in-service training day, and you’re down to 18.
Knock off another seven for snow days, and Akron’s school kids wound up with 11 days of education for the entire month.
How about some property-tax rebates?
You don’t typically see meth busts in Bath Township. But the Summit County Drug Unit conducted one the other day and allegedly netted a woman whose first name is Crystal.
Bob: Did you see where Norton was helping develop Massillon Road? Did not know its boundaries extended that far.
Robert: You’re taking entirely too much pleasure in the fact that the mayor of Green, Dick Norton, shares his surname with another Summit County city.
Wish I would have thought of it.
Our front-page story about the University of Akron eliminating as many as 55 programs included an email from a Seattle woman who earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees in English.
She also was active in theater, and was bemoaning the possible suspension of that program, which “offers a truly unique (I rarely use that word) training and learning experience unlike any other.”
So it is not only “unique” but also “unlike any other”?
No wonder she rarely uses that word. Apparently, she doesn’t know what it means.
If you turn on the correct channel at the correct time today, Your Favorite Columnist could magically appear on your television screen.
The channel: WKYC (Channel 3) in Cleveland. The time: somewhere during the second half of a 30-minute show that begins at 11:30 a.m.
If we make the connection, you will hear me talking about how great my new book is.
Hey, football season is over. What else can you watch on a Sunday?
Yeah, I know: paint drying.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com.