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By Bob Dyer
Beacon Journal staff writer
Published on Tuesday, Mar 24, 2009
Most of the readers who take the time to praise or belittle your favorite columnist do so via e-mail. That's good. Not only is it much faster than snail mail, but also no trees die and no gasoline is burned on the way to the post office.
But sometimes, traditional mail is the only way to go. Such was the case the other day, when a reader named Vicki Martin wanted to share something with me: an interesting piece of paper.
Actually, ''piece of paper'' is an understatement. It looks more like the tail of a kite.
The Cuyahoga Falls woman had made a quick stop at her local CVS/pharmacy to pick up a bottle of catsup and a candy bar. (Don't ask.)
Those two items, with tax, cost her $4.08. She handed the cashier $10 and got back $5.92 — along with three feet of paper.
Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration. The receipt was a mere 2 feet, 11 inches long.
Seriously. I measured it with a ruler. Two feet, 11 inches of receipt. For a $4 purchase.
The task of documenting her catsup-and-candy-buying spree could have been handled very easily in 5 inches. In fact, that's where the actual receipt stopped and the tsunami of coupons began.
''Win $1,000'' trumpeted the first one, urging her to call an 800 number.
The next coupon offered a $25 gift card if she would fill a new or transferred prescription.
Or, she could get $3 off a purchase of $15 or more.
Or, she could get a free song card if she spent $25.
Or, she could get $25 off NicoDerm, Nicorette or Commit. (Which begs the question: Why is the ''D'' capitalized in NicoDerm but not the ''R'' in Nicorette?)
Or, according to her tome, she could save $1 on the purchase of any two Hershey Theatre Boxes. (If they were called ''Theater'' Boxes rather than ''Theatre'' Boxes, they'd be cheaper to begin with.)
The obvious question: With rewards like this, why wouldn't she do all of her shopping at CVS? No, wait. I'm high on catsup and candy. The obvious question is: Three feet of receipt for four bucks of stuff?!
CVS, based in Woonsocket, R.I., has 5,400 stores across the country. And all of them are cranking out reams of paper that most people are throwing away without even reading.
(Yes, newspapers have wiped out some forests, too. But at least the people who buy them read parts of them.)
Corporate spokeswoman Joanne Dwyer (close, but no Dyer) responded to an e-mail questioning the policy with a 376-word barrage touting the advantages of the company's ExtraCare Rewards program.
About 55 million people are enrolled and are saving federal-bailout amounts of money, she says. Great. But what about the kite tails?
As it turns out, you can avoid acquiring a tail at the register — but only by printing out all the coupons ahead of time, either online or at kiosks set up in some CVS stores.
In short, the long receipts aren't optional.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.
Most of the readers who take the time to praise or belittle your favorite columnist do so via e-mail. That's good. Not only is it much faster than snail mail, but also no trees die and no gasoline is burned on the way to the post office.
Get the full article here.
Comments
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Posted 09:34 AM, 03/24/2009
In what way is this news? It's not even mildly interesting.
Barberton, OH
Posted 03:20 PM, 03/24/2009
I found it interesting, Bob!
rootstown, oh
Posted 04:56 PM, 03/24/2009
come on bob!are you in rehab or something?we love ya,but you're just phoning it in these last couple of weeks.more investigative journalism please.stir the pot and p!ss some people off.
akron, oh
Posted 06:48 PM, 03/24/2009
Dyer is going to be writing about global warming and the extinction of the four leaf clover next week. Can't wait!
Oh yeah, bob, there is a chuck hole on exchange right in front of the Beacon, good story, huh!
