Events Calendar
In This Section
Bob Dyer: Recognition not always a big bonus
West Akron homeowners in rough spot
Newsletter inexpensive, gives news
DYER: This newsletter inexpensive, gives news
Legislator: Leeway OK in late fine
High tech helps police in Youngstown
New TWC boss stressing the basics
A hot topic to thaw out frigid days
Most Read Stories
Man robbed at Tallmadge Avenue eatery
Another winter punch heading toward Ohio
Four teens restrain man, take items from his Akron home
Complaints against officer keep coming
Police: Ohio girl dies after fall into snow bank
Region makes way for latest batch of snow; cancellations rise
Cuyahoga Falls residents come home to find burning couch on balcony
Blogs:
First Bell - On Education:
No City of Akron basketball tonight
Pets:
Pet telethon re-airs
The Heldenfiles:
Chipmunks "Squeakquel" on DVD/BD March 30
Akron Zips:
Late surge gives Zips ugly road win
Tribe Matters:
Blogmail response on Hafner
Cleveland Browns:
Stallworth's contract terminated
Balanced Ledger:
QB in Browns future: another mock draft
Kent State Sports:
KSU Notes – February 9
Cleveland Cavaliers:
NBA Power Rankings from Around the Internet
Buckeye Blogging:
Buckeyes grab 18 players on signing day
Varsity Letters:
Garfield at Buchtel basketball
All Da King's Men:
Palin At The Tea Party Convention
Blog of Mass Destruction:
Republican Pre-Conditions
Akron Law Café:
Law, Love and Chocolate
Car Chase:
Collector Car Hobby Loses One of the Best—Jim Roll
Let's Talk Real Estate:
Decisions Decisions: Credit Cards or Your Mortgage?
Ohio Travels with Betty:
Loucile is looking for a Lake Erie getaway in June for three kids, ages 1, 3, and 5.
Sound Check:
Talk of the Town – Top entertainment picks for the weekend
HRLite House:
OFCCP Report
Akron Gamer:
Makers of 'Castle Crashers' unveil 'BattleBlock Theater'
See Jane Style:
Do IT this week: Layering
By Bob Dyer
Beacon Journal columnist
POSTED: 08:54 p.m. EST, Nov 05, 2009
On far too many occasions, the old lament — ''You can't fight city hall'' — holds true. But when all else fails, at least you can laugh at the powers that be.
That's what Barry Gaidek is doing after renewing his commercial driver's license and license plate.
The Munroe Falls man recently headed to the deputy registrar in Stow, figuring he had plenty of time before a dental appointment. But after half an hour, he was still two people from the counter and had to split.
When he returned and worked his way to the front after 15 minutes, he asked the worker whether he would have to pay a late fee for his boat trailer if he waited until April to renew that plate.
''She said I would not have to pay the fine if I can prove that it's a seasonal vehicle,'' Gaidek says.
''I said, 'This is Ohio! It's a boat! How much more proof would you need?' She had to check a chart on the wall before reaching the conclusion that a boat trailer qualifies as a seasonal vehicle.
''OK, now it's time for the eye test,'' he continues. ''Luckily, there are sterile wipes beside the eye-test machine to wipe off the oily part where you push with your forehead to light the lights.
''I wiped it down and, while fanning it dry, looked back at all the waiting people, then hurriedly stuck my forehead against the still-wet machine to start the test.
''Once we began, the phone rang and she answered it. I stopped and patiently waited. The test finally resumed, and I passed.
''Then I sat for my new photo. Nowadays, they do not let you look at the photo before it is printed in case you're not happy with it. And they want a straight face, like a mug shot.''
Finally, the woman handed him his new license.
''This is PINK!'' he exclaimed, horrified.
''No, it's salmon,'' she said.
''Nooooo, it's PINK!'' he insisted.
He's right. But she has been programmed to declare it fish-colored. That's the party line.
The BMV's Web site plainly states that the hue isS-A-L-M-O-N. So get your mind right!
In Columbus, apparently, the classic-rock stations play Salmon Floyd and the doctors treat Salmon Eye.
The BMV says the change was made to enhance security. Pink is one of the most difficult colors to duplicate.
Er, salmon.
If you haven't renewed your license recently, you may be surprised to see several other changes, the most obvious being that the main photo has been moved from the right side to the left side (clearly an Obama-led conspiracy), and there's a new logo in the shape of Ohio that indicates the type of license it is.
The changes kicked in Aug. 1. Most drivers would like to kick them back out.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.
On far too many occasions, the old lament — ''You can't fight city hall'' — holds true. But when all else fails, at least you can laugh at the powers that be.
That's what Barry Gaidek is doing after renewing his commercial driver's license and license plate.
The Munroe Falls man recently headed to the deputy registrar in Stow, figuring he had plenty of time before a dental appointment. But after half an hour, he was still two people from the counter and had to split.
When he returned and worked his way to the front after 15 minutes, he asked the worker whether he would have to pay a late fee for his boat trailer if he waited until April to renew that plate.
''She said I would not have to pay the fine if I can prove that it's a seasonal vehicle,'' Gaidek says.
''I said, 'This is Ohio! It's a boat! How much more proof would you need?' She had to check a chart on the wall before reaching the conclusion that a boat trailer qualifies as a seasonal vehicle.
''OK, now it's time for the eye test,'' he continues. ''Luckily, there are sterile wipes beside the eye-test machine to wipe off the oily part where you push with your forehead to light the lights.
''I wiped it down and, while fanning it dry, looked back at all the waiting people, then hurriedly stuck my forehead against the still-wet machine to start the test.
''Once we began, the phone rang and she answered it. I stopped and patiently waited. The test finally resumed, and I passed.
''Then I sat for my new photo. Nowadays, they do not let you look at the photo before it is printed in case you're not happy with it. And they want a straight face, like a mug shot.''
Finally, the woman handed him his new license.
''This is PINK!'' he exclaimed, horrified.
''No, it's salmon,'' she said.
''Nooooo, it's PINK!'' he insisted.
He's right. But she has been programmed to declare it fish-colored. That's the party line.
The BMV's Web site plainly states that the hue isS-A-L-M-O-N. So get your mind right!
In Columbus, apparently, the classic-rock stations play Salmon Floyd and the doctors treat Salmon Eye.
The BMV says the change was made to enhance security. Pink is one of the most difficult colors to duplicate.
Er, salmon.
If you haven't renewed your license recently, you may be surprised to see several other changes, the most obvious being that the main photo has been moved from the right side to the left side (clearly an Obama-led conspiracy), and there's a new logo in the shape of Ohio that indicates the type of license it is.
The changes kicked in Aug. 1. Most drivers would like to kick them back out.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.
Comments
Click here to post your comments
Akron, OH
Posted 09:10 PM, 11/05/2009
mr. dyer, your ability to turn an outdated headline into a story continues to amaze me. you are on to something (most likey on accident) becasue the new design is a federal mandate by the REAL ID Act. soon enough we will have a national ID card.
M, OH
Posted 10:09 PM, 11/05/2009
And of course, ANYONE in this country should be entitled to a national ID card and benefits. Isn't that fair? Oh, what the heck, let's just go ahead and make it a Green Planet Earth card and let all Earthlings share the American dream and the wealth. Again, isn't that fair? Well, there may be life in other planetary systems that should be entitled too...sorry...getting a bit carried away here!
New York, NY
Posted 10:23 PM, 11/05/2009
the scariest part of this entire story is the fact that these people at your license bureau are the same fools that obama wants to handle your health insurance! That should be fun
Canal Fulton, Oh
Posted 10:49 PM, 11/05/2009
I enjoyed this story:-) Mr.Dyer,who I admire,always keeps me reading,so that has to say something! Some writers for this paper dont hold my interest after the first sentence!
Seminole, FL
Posted 11:04 PM, 11/05/2009
As a Florida resident, I can indeed prove that Ohio boats can have year round use.....
Seminole, FL
Posted 11:05 PM, 11/05/2009
PS. should add, I don't have a boat....
Akron, OH
Posted 12:03 AM, 11/06/2009
Who owns that agency in Stow?
akron, oh
Posted 06:43 AM, 11/06/2009
Sorry Bob, but this one bored me to tears.
Akron, Oh
Posted 08:04 AM, 11/06/2009
Sorry Bob, but this one hit too close to home...45 years ago as a young boy of 13 I bought an expensive Schwinn bike that was Salmon...my brothers to this day and buddies in the neighborhood then never let me forget about the pink bike I had.....too funny , I had to e-mail them and tell them not to read your column today....thanks for the laugh !
uniontown, oh
Posted 08:18 AM, 11/06/2009
Pink? Uuh, what else do we refer to a "pinko"? Won't be long will it Obama?
akron, OH
Posted 09:37 AM, 11/06/2009
What?
Cuyahoga Falls, OH
Posted 09:42 AM, 11/06/2009
I could get on board with "salmon" for forgery concerns, if the license itself weren't covered entirely with laser holograms. There are buildings on there, cardinals, amber waves of grain, several versions of the name "Ohio"... and under certain lighting conditions, what I'm pretty sure is Kate Hudson in a cage fight.
Behind all the holography, we thankfully have a nice salmon background.
Posted 09:47 AM, 11/06/2009
@XDEM Sorry, you are wrong about that. They are not goverment employees. They are the best that privatization can buy.
C.F., Oh
Posted 10:14 AM, 11/06/2009
@ Crime of the Century... LMAO! Really good. You should take over Mr. Dyer's job when he retires! ha, ha.
Posted 10:31 AM, 11/06/2009
Who cares what color your drivers license is? Also, this is extremely old news, Bob. As you said, they changed the ID's in August.
Posted 10:41 AM, 11/06/2009
there is also a $20 penalty if you renew your vehicle registration 7 days after expiration...that's 7 calendar days even though the registrars and the mail (in the cae you renew online) do not operate 7 days a week. RIP OFF. And for those of you who can't do the math, the penalty is 46% of the car renewal rate...not ok for the private sector to impose that kind of penalty but ok for the govt. to rake you over the coals. If you are 1 day late or 364 days late, it's the same penatly! WHATEVER!
kent, oh
Posted 11:06 AM, 11/06/2009
This fish is fresh,Barry is a relative.Although the original letter is much more humorous.
Akron, OH
Posted 11:59 AM, 11/06/2009
@T,
Driving is a privilege, not a right. If you can't renew on time, maybe you should not have a license or a car, eh?
:0/
Akron, OH
Posted 12:00 PM, 11/06/2009
@Pauliechop,
Nice! Do you have some unique holograms as well?
:0)
Akron, OH
Posted 12:09 PM, 11/06/2009
Evidently even the driver's license has become historical.
No doubt in honor of former Ohio senator, governor, and US Treasury Secretary Salmon P. Chase.
Norton, OH
Posted 02:17 PM, 11/06/2009
Late registrations count for motorcycles too?
Pretty sure that's seasonal. At least, I don't ride mine when there's snow on the ground!
Akron, Oh
Posted 03:45 PM, 11/06/2009
@Bergermeister, I agree with you to an extent but there are circumstances where people can't renew on time, for instance, my husband had cancer surgery and he was in the hospital at the time his license expired, his diagnosis and surgery came as a surprise but he was not able to renew on time and had to pay the late fee. The late fee is cool with me but some circumstances like this should be considered provided that you can provide documentation of your situation.
Tallmadge, Oh
Posted 04:07 PM, 11/06/2009
This is Mayor Don's fault!
akron, oh
Posted 05:37 PM, 11/06/2009
Bring back privacy, and the rest of our rights. We have the right to have better fish colors than salmon! I want mine to be the color of bluegill, maybe trout.
And what is this "no smiling" stuff? Do you mean I can't stick my thumbs in my ears and stick out my tongue?
Posted 06:44 PM, 11/06/2009
Really this is all you got Dyer? How about checking some of the stimulus money being used in the area. Let's start why 70,000 went to a person for providing credit to small businesses when conventional venues have failed. I looked up the address came back to a TREE SERVICE. Think I'll call for a small business loan and quote on fall leaf pick up.
Crazytown, OH
Posted 12:08 AM, 11/07/2009
@762400
You are just ahead of the game. Pretty soon we will all have a number. If we're lucky we'll get to choose whether we want to be tattooed or microchipped.
Akron, OH
Posted 12:38 AM, 11/07/2009
XDEM, ...no doubt! That's what I've been thinking all along about guvment heathcare. Imagine trying to deal with those types if you had a serious health problem.
Akron, OH
Posted 06:17 AM, 11/07/2009
We can't comment on the mayor's article, but people put racial slurs in comments? (It was reported)
The Beacon Journal is 98% full of it.
akron, oh
Posted 11:01 AM, 11/07/2009
@poster: what is the other 2%?
akron, oh
Posted 01:42 PM, 11/07/2009
If my license were rainbow trout colored, people might think I'm...
akron, oh
Posted 02:07 PM, 11/07/2009
sm_rta_s - you're not so smart... we already have a number... a social security number.
Of course, there might come a day when it is implanted in/on us at birth... :-(
akron, oh
Posted 02:12 PM, 11/07/2009
As far as fish colors, what about mimicking striped angel fish? They are really cool looking!
If you really want pink... Squareback Anthias is pretty too.
Mogadore, OH
Posted 02:29 PM, 11/07/2009
Pink, just in time for the Gay-Games. :)
akron, oh
Posted 05:30 PM, 11/07/2009
You're sharp as a tac, Bob. XDem is correct. These are the people that will decide when and what type of medical care you and your family receive.
WADSWORTH, OH
Posted 09:05 PM, 11/07/2009
Salmon Floyd-LMAO
Akron, OH
Posted 10:35 AM, 11/10/2009
you can't smile in your picture because you won't be smiling when the cop stops you, so you should look like your picture. Right before they take it, imagine getting slammed with $150 ticket for going 5 miles over the speed limit! That's what the police will be comparing your picture to.
