Anyone who lives, works, shops or panhandles in the Montrose area will be affected by this summer’s court ruling on the closing of Rothrock Road.
As you probably know, a judge seconded Fairlawn’s assertion that it could close one of its own streets to protect homeowners in the Rosemont Ridge subdivision from the massive influx of shoppers who will beat a vehicular path to the future Walmart/Sam’s Club megalopolis.
Most folks won’t feel the impact until the stores open (date yet to be determined), when an estimated 10,000 more cars per day will jam into an area that already is a mess, and during the holidays is nearly impassable.
But the lives of some folks already have changed.
Case in point: Copley resident Ric Walter.
Walter is the second-generation “Mayor of Walterville,” a fanciful post in a fanciful municipality that is a real collection of small buildings on the northeast side of Copley Circle that look like a miniature village.
Like his late father before him, Walter sells propane and rents out workshop and retail space.
He is an ex-pilot and 100-ton boat captain who long has enjoyed navigation and numbers. He uses an iPhone app when he kayaks, sculls or hikes. So naturally he decided to crunch the numbers to determine precisely what impact the closing of Rothrock will have on his life.
Ric’s mother is 92, but is still plenty sharp enough to know exactly how often her son visits her at the Copley Place senior complex, which sits next to ground zero on the Walmart drawings.
During the good old days, he could drive north from Copley Circle on Cleveland-Massillion Road, hang a left on Rothrock and roll right up to his mom’s place.
Now? Get out your TripTik.
North on Cleve-Mass. Left on Bywood (just before Aldi). Right on Brookmont. Left on Brookwall to the four-way stop near Home Depot. Around the curve at Best Buy and finally up to Mom’s.
He visits her five days a week. (If he doesn’t, he hears about it.)
Using the Interstate 77 overpass as the starting point for the difference, Walter fired up his stopwatch, odometer and calculator.
Before the barricade: 1 minute, 48 seconds and 0.65 miles each way.
After the barricade: an additional 3 minutes, 45 seconds and 1.65 miles each way.
Multiply by two for the round trip, multiply by five times per week, multiply by 50 weeks a year (even Mom permits an occasional vacation) and the numbers are startling:
• 825 more miles per year.
• 32 more hours per year — the equivalent of four eight-hour workdays.
Walter has considered parking at the church at the corner of Cleve-Mass and Rothrock and walking. That would require a 1.3-mile round-trip hike each day. On the other hand, that would enable him to skip the 1.2-mile daily walk he normally logs at Copley Community Park.
So maybe the judge’s ruling might actually keep him healthier.
Let’s see ... at an extra one-tenth of a mile each day ...
More on the moo
Got some feedback on the Great Cow Controversy that is raging over the animatronic beast that resides in the dairy department at Acme No. 1 on West Market Street in Akron.
A reader recently demanded to know why the cow wears a collar reading “Elsie” but the sign near her activation button refers to “Milka the Cow.”
I concluded that we are witnessing a nasty case of identity theft. But reader Drew Shorter of Cuyahoga Falls disagrees.
“This is not the sinister case you make it out to be,” he wrote.
According to Shorter, the answer involves Elsie’s former life as the Borden cow.
“With her success and fame, she did not make good lifestyle choices and ruined her voice — the one talent that had gotten her the job in the first place.
“Milka was approached to do a voice-over for Elsie, but stated very firmly that she would not do it unless she was given credit. Thus the sign ‘To hear Milka ...’
“It’s a sad but all-too-common tale.”
Bob: This struck me as amusing, so I thought I would point it out to you. It was in the South Side News Leader on July 26.
“Police were called to investigate an unconscious man found at a Canton Road fast-food restaurant. After waking him, police determined he was intoxicated, and the man was transported to a hospital. He also was charged with disorderly conduct and littering.”
If he had been found conscious, do you suppose they would have changed the littering charge to loitering?
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com.