A little of this and a little of that as we continue to hope spring arrives before summer does.
A resident of Cuyahoga Falls received a recall notice in the mail for a dehumidifier she owned. The missive said the product should be disposed of immediately because it’s a fire hazard.
She took it out with the trash, but within two hours, someone had come by and taken it.
So if any of you has recently acquired a used dehumidifier ...
Bob: I have been following the articles in the BJ outlining the protests and the problems surrounding the tree and of the woman who was arrested.
I think it’s another case of people needing to be careful of how they react when they get their ash in an uproar.
Pat: I thought about calling you a smart ash, but that would be rude.
Bob: Interesting that your alert reader Robert in Barberton should compare you to a “marmit (sic).” Even more interesting is that you describe a marmot as a cuddly, fuzzy little creature.
A few years ago I encountered a hoary marmot while hiking in Glacier National Park. It was anything but cuddly, as it arose on its hind feet, hissed at me and gave chase. As marmots are quite slow, I quickly out-paced him.
While we have never met, I trust that you are more cuddly than a marmot. The term “hoary” used to describe marmots means white or gray with age, a trait that your photo reveals that you are cleverly concealing with Grecian Formula.
Richard: Well, it helps that the photo in question was taken in about 1959. I really should get a new one. Although not predominantly “hoary,” I’m getting frighteningly close.
Glad I’ve encountered marmots only in photos. It’s never good when you’re being chased by a wild animal, even if said animal is slow.
At my advanced age, you never know when you’re going to pull a hammy.
Bob: Other things that enter into a discussion of The Magic City:
Why is there no barber college in Barberton?
If it’s the Magic City, why don’t restaurants serve Lucky Charms, being that they ARE indeed magically delicious?
Is it the home of barbed wire?
Why is there no harbor in barber?
I looked at the Yellow Pages online and there is not ONE store selling magic-trick supplies.
Something is wrong with this picture.
Eddie: Nothing is wrong in Barberton. Not one thing. Great place just as it is.
Readin’ & ritin’
Almost makes you think the Cuyahoga Falls school system is in “Academic Emergency,” rather than rated “Effective.”
As we reported earlier, the handsome leather covers on the 348 diplomas handed out to graduates last week read “Cayahoga Falls.”
What we haven’t reported is that, inside the folder, the gold seal on the diploma itself contained another gem:
Variety is a wonderful thing. But not in this case. By the time a school has been around for 146 years, we really ought to have settled on one particular spelling.
On May 28, I published a column about local sports fans finally being fired up about the red-hot Indians. Starting that day, the Indians lost 10 of their next 13 games.
Over and over
Bob: You might want to check what the ABJ’s new Department of Redundancy Department places close to your column; it might rub off. Today, there was a picture right next to it with this caption: “A new logo design on an Akron Police vehicle shows a new logo design.”
Really? You don’t say!
Chris: Yeah, I saw that and cringed. I was going to write about it myself, but you already did.
Did I mention that I was going to write about it myself?
You just can’t trust those video-game characters.
According to the Copley cops, one of the guys who wears a Mario costume for Game Surge admitted to sliding some of the store’s merchandise into his costume and hiding it in his car. When confronted, he said he had already sold the items.
Hey, Mario: I thought you were supposed to be the good guy!
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com.