The Beal family moved a few years ago to a quaint community in Medina County, a place where the school district is ranked among the top in the state and students are kind. Or so they thought.
Their troubles started when a mean girl, the leader of a clique, talked a pair of friends into drinking and popping pills. When Beal's daughter tried to persuade the wayward bunch to make better choices, some of the group, including the queen bee, ostracized the 16-year-old.
''She would receive harassing phone calls on a daily basis,'' said Tammy Beal.
The bullying continued online via Facebook and at school.
''One day . . . a nasty message was written on the chalkboard with initials of some of the girls from the group. A collage of past group pictures hung on the chalkboard with our daughter's face blacked out with a marker,'' Beal said.
The teacher thought it was just a joke and, like most adolescents, the daughter thought the situation would only worsen if she told on the girls. While she was able to keep up her grades, she became increasingly isolated and confused.
''We were so disappointed with these girls and we were more disappointed with the parents who knew this bullying was going on,'' Beal said. ''We finally told our daughter that enough was enough and that we were transferring her to another school. . . .
''Sometimes a parent may need to make a drastic change for their child when you know their spirit is broken.''
Beal responded to our recent request asking readers to offer personal solutions to bullying. While changing schools, home schooling or enrolling a student in an online school isn't the dream parents may have had for their children, their happiness and safety must be considered.
''Sometimes God puts you through tribulations to guide you to where you need to be,'' Beal said. ''We are so blessed that we have a happy ending to our story. God bless the families that do not.''
The Beacon Journal received about 100 e-mails, letters and telephone calls in response to our search for readers
who have found an acceptable way to deal with bullying. Children to senior citizens called and wrote. But rather than solutions, most told stories of how their lives have been adversely affected by bullying.
Danielle Buie, a case manager with Child Guidance & Family Solutions, wasn't surprised by the need to vent.
''When people experience stressful, frustrating or frightening events in their lives, it is a very natural response to want to reach out to others for comfort and support. Often the simple act of being heard with compassion is a very soothing experience for people in pain or distress,'' Buie said.
''And while venting alone is not likely to solve the problem, it can serve to temporarily ease the tension an individual feels and open the door to finding the help that is needed.''
Readers said they have been bullied on the job, in their homes, on the school bus and on the athletic field.
Some suggested that children should get involved in Scouting or sports such as tae kwon do, which builds strength, leadership, confidence and self-esteem. They said parents should talk with school officials, and teachers should feel confident that an issue will be dealt with if they refer a suspected bully to the office. If all else fails, they said, file a police report.
Teens speak out
The Beacon Journal's Young Readers group, a team of adolescents who advise the paper on issues that affect them, were asked what needs to be done to stop bullying. Some praised schools for dealing with the bullying; others said assemblies to discuss the issue were just a waste of time.
Here are solutions offered by members of the group:
• Ashley Fellows, 12, Perry Township:
''Bullying can be a touchy subject for a lot of kids because it's usually . . . caused by an underlying personal problem.
''I believe that even parents can be the cause of their children bullying someone else. Sometimes parents can be unaware that their children are hearing some of their conversations. So when they get to school, instead of feeling depressed, they make one of their peers feel their pain.
''I'm not blaming all of this on the parents, but I feel to stop this bullying, parents should be a little more careful about when and where they have stressful conversations.
''Another helpful way to stop kids from bullying others is to have a 'bully rehab.' This is where a group of bullies get together and find a way to deal with their feelings in a way that doesn't hurt others, physically or emotionally. It's sort of like group counseling.''
• Kaitlyn Krites, 17, Cuyahoga Falls:
''We need to help each other. If someone is watching another person get bullied, they need to say something. So many people watch their peers get bullied and just sit back and do nothing about it. They think that if they try to help, they might get bullied, too.
''There have been many suicides recently because of bullying. If we stopped sitting around and took action, I think that all the harsh bullying would stop.''
• Jeanette Lansinger, 13, Tallmadge:
''To stop bullying, I think we [kids] need to be more aware of what bullying is. In other words, people need to know that there is a fine line between friendly teasing and bullying. This could be done through assemblies or demonstrations at schools.
''For example, if I came up to you and said, 'You like him, don't you?' that's just teasing. But, if I started spreading rumors and things of that nature, then it has crossed that fine line.''
• Alena Fiocca, 15, Silver Lake:
''If the punishment was worse, I doubt as many people would be bullies.''
• Gavin DeMali, 13, Akron:
''What needs to be done to stop bullying is to teach about the importance of respecting others even if they are different than you. Tell an adult that you trust. Get the bully help and learn why they are mean to other people. There could be something wrong.''
And then there's Ja'Nay Patterson, a sophomore at Stow-Munroe Falls High School, who thinks there needs to be more bully prevention groups.
''Bullying is a chain reaction,'' he said, ''but it can be stopped.''
Kim Hone-McMahan can be reached at 330-996-3742 or kmcmahan@thebeaconjournal.com.
