We Akronites die a little death every time another Goodyear blimp passes on to that great gas bag in the sky.
As you might have read, the 13-year-old Spirit of Goodyear is starting a journey to Florida on Friday, planning to play a little shuffleboard this winter before getting a visit from Dr. Kervorkian in the spring.
Now, I hate to speak ill of the nearly dead, but to tell you the truth, I never liked that blimp’s name.
Naming its local predecessor the “Spirit of Akron” made sense. That was a way to thank the city for its unwavering support throughout the 1986 financial attack by corporate raider Sir James Goldsmith.
But the “Spirit of Goodyear”? We would fully expect a Goodyear blimp to have sufficient Goodyear spirit. Seems like some other kind of spirit could have been celebrated rather than the company simply patting itself on the back.
Unfortunately, one of the Spirit of Goodyear’s final acts drew a bit of flak, something that doesn’t happen much in these parts.
After the blimp floated around town carrying a public-service message about not texting while driving, three readers suggested that we also need a campaign to refrain from driving while trying to read a scrolling message in the sky.
The good news is that this blimp will be replaced by the first of a new generation of bigger blimps, taking shape as we speak at the Wingfoot Lake hangar in Suffield Township. It will debut in the spring — with, we hope, a better name.
With publicists like this, who needs enemies?
One of the reasons given by press secretary Rob Nichols for Gov. John Kasich’s refusal to allow reporters into his dinner speech to Summit County Republicans in Fairlawn last week was that Kasich would just be giving “the same speech he always gives.”
Bob: I’m not sure if you are aware, but a crime wave of unprecedented proportion appears to be sweeping through Northeast Ohio.
Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of Pittsburgh Steeler banners, sweatshirts and hats have mysteriously disappeared from sight.
This can only be the result of some fiendish criminal conspiracy, as those proud fans would never have supported the Steelers just to identify with a winner. They are undoubtedly true-blue fans, through good times and bad.
I have attempted to investigate this mass theft on my own but have so far been unable to locate a Steelers fan to ask questions. Maybe they are … good God! It just dawned on me that they’ve been kidnapped, too! Oh, the humanity!
Terry: How dare you insinuate that Steelers fans are so fickle, such frontrunners, such obnoxious, bandwagon-dwelling dirt bags that they would abandon ship after their allegedly precious team starts the season 0-4.
I think the problem is that they were simply rendered mute by the Pirates making the playoffs for the first time since Bush the Elder was president.
An unknown reader, writing in pencil on a tiny piece of paper, took me to task for my potshot at Allie LaForce, the TV pitch person who seems more intent on pitching Allie LaForce than the cars:
“How dare you make fun of Allie LaForce, a beautiful lady. How about the Elk & Elk [commercials] that have been running for years, with that vain idiot combing his hair down?
“Watch out, by Bob Deyer [sic], the LaForce will get you.”
The LaForce can do anything it wants to me as long as it doesn’t make me stand next to those Elk & Elk guys.
The Stow Police Department is holding an open house Tuesday with cider and doughnuts.
Bob: My wife and I are both hard workers with full-time jobs, and the parents of three boys. We both have hearing loss and wear hearing aids. Unfortunately, both of our hearing aids are old and need to be replaced.
However, they cost thousands of dollars, which we can’t afford. Our audiologist informed us that the reason why insurance companies do not cover hearing aids is because they feel it is a “luxury.”
I never knew it was a luxury to be able to hear. We struggle at our jobs because we can’t hear properly.
She did say that insurance companies will cover Viagra, though. Really? They will cover Viagra but not hearing aids?
Charles L. Wilson
Charles: My, what big ears you have!
(Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)
I agree that our priorities are a mess if one of our five primary senses is shortchanged at the expense of propping up some miscellaneous body part.
And I plan to straighten this whole thing out just as soon as I finish reading the Affordable Care Act. I still have 729,000 pages to go, but daylight saving time ends next month, so I’ll have much more time to read.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or firstname.lastname@example.org.