When you’ve spent 95 years on this planet, and you’ve had an active social life, and you have lots of relatives, your death tends to generate a long obituary.
But Gerry Ingersoll’s obit was long even by nonagenarian standards. Despite generic references to nieces, nephews and 12 great-grandchildren, it still named 33 survivors.
At the end of a seemingly endless paragraph of names was this sentence:
“If you read this entire obituary you may receive a ten dollar gift certificate to Fresco Mexican Grill in Kent, Ohio.”
Did somebody hack into the Beacon Journal’s obit database?
Are we charging so much for obits these days that people need sponsors?
What’s the deal here?
Here’s the deal: Gerry Ingersoll was one funny lady, and her family figured she would appreciate something completely off the wall in their summation of her life.
The Fresco Mexican Grill is owned by one of her grandsons, TJ Ingersoll.
“She wanted something silly in the obituary, so that’s what we did,” he says. “When we were writing it, we figured, ‘There are so many of us that no one is gonna read this whole thing.’ So at the end we just put that.”
In addition to having a sense of humor, TJ’s grandmother was incredibly practical.
“She was a very straightforward, logical-thinking person,” says Ingersoll, “so before she died she actually planned and paid for her funeral.”
Grandma also disposed of most of her possessions, giving them to relatives and charities, before checking herself into an assisted-living facility.
“She did everything she needed to do so no one had to stress out when she passed.”
Gerry Ingersoll’s grandson says she was completely at peace during her final days.
“She was 95. Her last wish was to just die and be with my grandpa. That’s all she wanted.”
She got her wish — and also left behind some smiles.
Endless curtain call
George Nelson has a question about a roadside sign on U.S. Route 224 eastbound, near Interstate 77. It reads: “Carousel Dinner Theater.”
“I’m just curious,” Nelson says. “How long does that sign have to remain up?”
The Carousel has only been closed for five years and three months, George. These things take time.
What a heel
Bob: Just read about the woman who killed her boyfriend, using a 5½-inch stiletto heel.
Should women who wear these shoes be required to obtain a license to wear same?
Sue: Yes. They should get a concealed heel permit.
From the police blotter in Wooster:
“An employee of BP, 2958 Cleveland Road, left a note saying he was sorry and was leaving for Canada. He filled his car with gas, took $2,100, stole 50 packs of cigarettes and activated gift cards worth $2,500.”
Safe to assume he didn’t provide two week’s notice?
Romona Robinson in a promotional spot touting WOIO (Channel 19) colleague Jeff Tanchak:
“Accuracy matters in a city like ours.”
Are there cities where accuracy doesn’t matter?
A man possessed
Notable news from Brunswick.
“A police officer reported that he spotted a Mini Cooper traveling at an extremely high rate of speed on Center Road. He chased the vehicle until it crashed into a ditch.
“The driver jumped out of the vehicle and shouted, ‘Are you a cyborg?’ and ‘Prove that you are human!’
“The driver had to be wrestled to the ground.
“He later admitted that he had smoked marijuana in the vehicle.”
Well, that would explain it.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com.