The Kent Police Department had reason to celebrate last week.
Or so it claimed.
On the department’s Facebook page, a Kent dispatcher posted an entry headlined “Congratulations the city of Kent Ranked #41.”
Um, no, not 41st in the nation. Forty-first in Ohio.
The rankings were compiled by Safewise.com, a group that pushes home security systems. Safewise had just trotted out a list called, “The 50 Safest Cities in Ohio.”
And, yes, Kent was 41st out of the 50.
Who among us isn’t pining to live in the 41st safest city in Ohio?
OK, OK. There are a lot more than 50 cities in Ohio, and a few of the places on this list aren’t even cities, such as Madison Township in Lake County (No. 17). Apparently, any easily identifiable area with more than 15,000 residents was in contention.
So on the surface, this appears to be a decent honor. I just don’t think I’d be comfortable chanting, “We’re No. 41! We’re No. 41! ...”
If you buy into these ratings — more about their credibility in a minute — our region has reason to rejoice. A remarkable 8.5 of the top 10 cities are right here in Northeast Ohio.
The half-point goes to New Philadelphia. Although most of us don’t think of that area as part of ours, New Philly is included in what television executives call the Cleveland ADI (area of dominant influence). In other words, last week New Philadelphians were tuning in Dick Goddard, Betsy Kling, Mark Johnson, et al.
The Safewise top 10:
1. Broadview Heights.
4. New Philly.
5. Brook Park.
6. North Ridgeville.
8. Springboro (near Dayton).
Other notables: Wadsworth at 22, North Canton at 25, Stow at 33 and Tallmadge at 35.
Unfortunately, I’m not sure this whole thing passes the smell test.
Cleveland Heights at No. 43, ahead of such mellow suburbs as Gahanna (near Columbus) and Eastlake (Lake County)?
Cleveland Heights, which last year appeared in a travel advisory issued by the French government warning its citizens about dangerous places?
Cleveland Heights, where, as the Plain Dealer put it last month, “police have a history of concealing crimes from the public”?
Among other things, the writer was referring to a 2011 investigation showing Heights police had labeled sex crimes as “departmental information” or “miscellaneous reports,” enabling the city to officially report only 26 sex crimes during a three-year span. The Plain Dealer discovered the actual total was 88.
Safewise says its findings are “based on our own research, as well as the latest FBI Crime Data report from 2011.”
Next time, perhaps a little less FBI data and a little more of your “own research.”
Reader Elias Vujovich said he couldn’t take credit for the joke, but let’s give him credit for passing it along during the heart of last week’s deep freeze.
“It was so cold this morning that only guys with a name like Ed or Bob could write their names in the snow.”
Note to the weather person at WAPS (91.3-FM) who recently warned of temperatures dropping to “minus 11 below” and “minus 8 below”: You may want to look up the definition of “redundant.”
The Cleveland Cavs sent an email to fans advertising a limited-edition souvenir that would be distributed to early arrivals at an upcoming game. It was, as the subject line put it, “an Exclusive Dion Waiters Booblehead.”
The Cavs sent a revised email five hours later. “Sorry about the spelling mistake. We want to make sure that doesn’t stop you from getting your Limited Edition Dion Waiters Bobblehead.”
Perhaps the sender initially thought the bobblehead was being issued to honor the dance team.
Mailing it in
’Twas recently the season for college bowl games, and — as we were told over and over and over — “the granddaddy of them all” was the Rose Bowl.
Now, you might think that with 25 days to prepare, Brent Musburger, the perpetually annoying play-by-play announcer, would have had sufficient time to pin down the basic facts on the starting quarterbacks.
Clearly, he didn’t, referring to Michigan State QB Connor Cook as a graduate of “Walsh Jesuit High School in Hinckley, Ohio.”
Hey, Brent: Cook’s hometown of Hinckley isn’t even in the same county as the school.
You weren’t talking about a third-string offensive lineman, Brent. You were talking about the most prominent position on the roster. Do your homework!
A horrifying report of “domestic violence” from Medina Township.
“Officers were called to Reeves Lane after a mother called to complain that her son refuses to work, keeps her up at night cooking and spilled salt on the carpet.”
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com.