The Ohio Association of Community Action Agencies pushes the agendas of 50 state agencies charged with serving the needs of poor people.
On Jan. 30, the group will stage a big news conference in Columbus to deliver its annual State of Poverty in Ohio report.
The news will be grim.
One in six Ohioans lives in poverty — enough people to fill the massive OSU football stadium 17 times.
One in 12 of those folks has a bachelor’s degree or more.
Immediately after delivering those sorts of depressing stats in a banquet room at a downtown hotel, the group will — woo hoo! — trot right down the hall to the “Governor’s Ballroom” for its annual “Legislative Reception.”
That event, according to a PR release, will feature “drinks and heavy hors d’oeuvres.”
Let them eat cake.
Most Internet phishing scams aren’t quite as transparent as this one, which showed up the other day in a Beacon Journal spam filter:
“I write you this letter seeking your assistance only on humanitarian basis.
“I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer few months ago only to discover that it has done much harm than it could ever be treated. I want you to assist me ensure that my estate and monies are being given to a reputable charity organisations.
“Please get back to me indicating your interest in assistance.
“Theodore J. Guest”
How sad that Theodore is having problems with his ovaries.
Yet another major crime has occurred in the hellhole of Hudson.
A correspondent reports that a local resident called police because “someone moved snow in his front yard to make a ‘phallic shape.’ ”
This could be a tough crime to solve unless police move quickly, because the evidence will shrink when the weather warms up this weekend.
Stunt not applauded
So much for pranks in the workplace.
You’d think a place called “Mr. Fun’s” would be pretty tolerant. But a former employee of the Cuyahoga Falls costume and magic shop has been charged with criminal mischief after he allegedly filled two door locks with Super Glue.
BMV missed one
License plate spotted by your eagle-eyed columnist Wednesday on the Akron Expressway:
Unfortunately, the driver was a guy.
SarahCare, a national adult daycare franchise with facilities at Belden Village and downtown Canton, boasts on its website about various programs designed to keep senior citizens involved and sharp. One of them is called “MindStretch.”
“MindStretch sessions are held twice a week. The first session per week focuses on mental stimulation with challengeing [sic] activities.”
Perhaps the author could stretch his or her mind far enough to run a spellcheck.
Now here’s a fellow with issues.
Springfield Township police say the following took place in their jurisdiction.
A 33-year-old man was standing outside Tri-County Plaza in the cold at 4:30 a.m. When a cruiser rolled up to get the scoop, he told officers he had been waiting more than half an hour for a taxi, and asked whether they could give him a lift home.
Police said they would, as long as he agreed to be searched first.
Why sure, he responded.
During the pat-down, officers found a purse that had been stolen 45 minutes earlier, as well as drug paraphernalia.
The guy didn’t have a GPS unit on him, but if he had, the voice would have said:
His new destination: Summit County Jail.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com.