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By Bob Dyer
Beacon Journal staff writer
Published on Thursday, Nov 13, 2008
Our country ran into credit problems? Wow, what a shock (insert symbol for dripping sarcasm here).
During the past nine months, my household has received 28 pre-approved credit-card offers addressed to a person who doesn't exist.
The letters started coming well before that. For a long time, I simply shook my head and tore them up. But they kept coming. And coming. So I started saving them to see how far this would go.
Apparently, some cut-rate typist got my daughter's name from a list and accidentally turned her first name into a last name and put initials in front of it. She became ''J.D. Caroline.''
Now, even if these bozos could have figured out her name, I'm not sure they would have been wise to pre-approve a college kid whose individual net worth is in the same ballpark as a newborn's.
But at least she's a real person. Here's one of the letters sent to someone who isn't:
''Based on your exceptional record of financial responsibility, American Express would like to offer you Cardmembership.''
Yes, they capitalized the ''C'' and made it one word. What can we expect from a company that praises the fiscal restraint of a nonexistent person?
American Express was not alone. Here's another letter to our mystery householder:
''You're pre-approved for the Chase Freedom Visa Signature card.''
Woo-hoo!
The imaginary J.D. Caroline also got 10 of these:
''I'm happy to inform you that you're pre-selected for this Capital One Visa Platinum card offer with no annual fee!''
What's in your wallet? Free money!
Mind you, we have lived at the same address for 23 years. Nobody lived there before us because we built the house.
Unfortunately, this ridiculously loose marketing approach does not seem to be a new development. Years ago, a colleague's daughter, then 13, was playing around on the Internet. Not long afterward, a letter arrived at the house addressed to the fictional Bobby Snickerdoodle.
''Congratulations!'' it began.
Who are these buffoons offering credit to nobodies?
''We obtain mailing lists from a number of sources and, occasionally, we receive inaccurate contact information,'' said American Express spokeswoman Kim Forde. ''We do not knowingly address solicitations to someone who does not exist.''
I should hope not. But if you can ''pre-approve'' a ghost, does the term really mean anything?
Well, yes, she said. Responses to those are more likely to be approved, despite the occasional screw-up.
She said American Express doesn't disclose the percentage of card applications it approves. But she did say her company is being more cautious in the wake of the credit meltdown.
At least I think that's what she said. What she actually said was: ''We are being more targeted in terms of managing risk prudently within the appropriate customer segments.''
Whew.
Anyway, I've since taken steps to eliminate the non-human consumer from my household. If you're tired of throwing these things away, you can stop the flow, too, with very little effort. Just call 1-888-567-8688 to ''opt out.''
Now that J.D. Caroline is history, I find myself a bit misty-eyed. I'm afraid I'm going to miss him/her more than I realized.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.
Our country ran into credit problems? Wow, what a shock (insert symbol for dripping sarcasm here).
Get the full article here.
Comments
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Bizarrebertucky, OH
Posted 07:41 AM, 11/13/2008
I get at least 5 or 6 pre-approved CC applications every week from Capitol One. Sometimes,I get more than one in a single day. Plus phone calls,etc. And that's just from the one company. There are others that continually pester me as well. This has been going on for years,even after I have told them to remove me from their list,and that I am not the least bit interested in obtaining credit from them. If I ever do need to borrow money,at least I know who NOT to borrow it from...
Akron, OH
Posted 08:42 AM, 11/13/2008
Dyer, ol' buddy. Y'all can be commended for bein' a proud father of y'alls little darlin' daughter. But this insistance of y'alls, to use her as a focus for y'alls articles, is gettin' a tad borin.
Mebbe y'all should of written a teeth gnashin' article about all of those baracades in that West Akron neighborhood. I'm sure y'all bein' Akrons award winnin' traffic reporter, y'all were invited to the meetin' last night.
akron , oh
Posted 09:55 AM, 11/13/2008
Beta you are annoying go crawl back under rock.
akron , oh
Posted 10:02 AM, 11/13/2008
This article hits right on the point as to why we are in this credit crisis. I have been saying this for months.
Bob don't forget the "incentive" of a discount at the big dept stores if you get one of their credit cards. Or the even more annoying ploy which I have seen at macy's and kohl's is that they only offer a discount if you use their credit card. This is rubbish. They are perpetuating the financial crisis if not actually causing it. This discount they offer is quickly erased with their interest fees they start tacking on after the first month. And please don't tell me that if you pay of the card then you don't have the fees. I know that, but the store knows that people don't do that and they will get their discount back 10 fold. And making a fool out of the customer in the process. And yes I understand personal responsibility, I am the first person on that band wagon. But when we are in a financial crisis and my tax dollars keep bailing out these instutions b/c they say they didn't see this coming. I get angry. They did see it coming and they were just greedy people capitalizing on the not so smart segment of the population. You made the bad loan/ gave a credit to a dead beat, than you deal with the loss. Don't come running to me. I spend within my means. You are not my problem.
Akron, oh
Posted 11:25 AM, 11/13/2008
We may be in a credit crisis, but why is it that the Government continues to ask banks to lend money? They are trying to boost consumer confidence by offering loans. If it isn't good for you, then ignore the mailings.
Posted 07:42 PM, 11/13/2008
Beta. I am from the south and I speak with an accent but i dont write with one. So just stop.
