1) I was all set to write one of those laments at the Browns' fortunes at the end of the season. Until someone e-mailed and said the Browns had one win this season against a team with a winning record. Hmmm, I thought, this bears looking into. (It's this kind of deep thinking that gets a person this job.) Wins came over Cincinnati (7-9), Baltimore (5-11), Miami (1-15), St. Louis (3-13), Seattle (10-6), Baltimore (5-11), Houston (8-8), the Jets (4-12), Buffalo (7-9) and San Francisco (5-11). Losses were to Pittsburgh (10-6), Oakland (4-12), New England (16-0), Pittsburgh (10-6), Arizona (8-8) and Cincinnati (7-9). Lo and behold, he's right. The Browns had one win over a team with a winning record.

2) Let's study this another way: Against teams that were above .500, the Browns were 1-3. Against teams that were below .500 they were 8-2. Against .500 teams they were 1-1, which seems appropriate. So the Browns were good enough to beat the bad teams, but not good enough to beat the good teams. Which puts them pretty much where I thought they were -- in the muckety middle where most NFL teams reside.

3) For fun, let's calculate the won-lost record of the teams the Browns beat: 55-105 (.344). The won-lost record of the teams the Browns lost to: 55-41 (.573). So the teams the Browns beat won 55 games, and the teams the Browns lost to won 55 games. This is consistency a coaching staff relishes. It also shows how bad the Browns' schedule was.

4) Next season it gets no easier. There were two divisions that sent 3-of-4 teams to the playoffs: the AFC North and the NFC East. The Browns play them both -- though things can change in a year on that front.

5) Look at it another way, and let's borrow someone else's research. The folks at ColdHardFootballFacts.com do an outstanding job of breaking down numbers to decipher who is a good team and who isn't. They rely largely on the term "quality wins," which measures a team's won-lost record against winning teams. For those still mad at Tony Dungy, it also eliminates games played when backups get the bulk of the playing time. They then look at scoring differential in those wins. The Browns were 1-3 in quality wins, and had a minus-12 point differential. The Web site warns not to get too excited about San Diego because the Chargers were 2-3 against quality teams. The stat is another way to reveal the Patriots' dominance. New England was 7-0 in quality wins, with a plus-19 point differential. That means the Patriots beat every good team they played by nearly 20 points. Wow.

6) The Browns' 1-3 record in quality wins led CHFF.com to put them in their "Tepid Twenty" in the overall rankings, 13th overall. Now, that's quite an achievement because the Browns started the season ranked 30th. Its comment: "Great left side of line plus skill players plus terrible D equals promise but no playoffs." Fair enough.

7) There's so much focus on the quarterback position, but if the Browns want to improve in 2008, they had best improve the defense. For the 37th year in a row, the defense could not stop the run. The defensive line needs an influx of talent. And there is a need for another big-time linebacker to go with Kamerion Wimbley. The quarterback position is one of strength. The defense needs upgrading.

8) Joe Thomas got 3 1/2 votes for Offensive Rookie of the Year, and one of them was mine. How a left tackle can start 16 games, anchor the line, help its improvement and produce so regularly and dependably and not be recognized shows what a sham these votes are. The glamour positions always are going to be recognized. A hard-working mucker like Thomas? Well, good luck. CHFF.com tells us, too, that Thomas was part of a line that allowed only 19 sacks (five of Charlie Frye in the opener), and when the Browns ran left (that'd be behind Thomas and Eric Steinbach) they averaged 5.2 yards per carry. I demand a re-vote due to hanging chads!

9) A friend made chili for her college-aged son and his friends who were over to play Wii or Pong or one of those electronic games that are all the rage now. Said friend specifically was asked to make chili by said son. So chili was on the stove. At about 10:40 though, son and his friends decided to go to Taco Bell. That's Taco Bell. T-a-c-o B-e-l-l. Taco Bell. Is this not the greatest statement possible about our educational system?

10) What is the right answer for the Browns' quarterbacks? There isn't one; there are several. But I don't necessarily agree with Kellen Winslow that Brady Quinn will play because he was drafted in the first round. If coach Romeo Crennel believes Quinn is not ready, he simply will not play him. Unless he has to, of course. And he'd have to if somebody offered Anderson a huge contract as a free agent and lured him away from Cleveland. The Browns' most important offseason story might be the improvement of the defense, but the most fascinating one will be what happens with the quarterbacks.

And a bonus 11 ...

11) As this season winds down, I think it's time to salute a gentleman we in the media have dubbed "Super Fan." Said fan sits in the club seats, what looks like section 306 or 307, or perhaps 305. About row 14. This guy is there every week, cheering, pointing first downs. He is there early and he never misses a down by hiding in the club lounge. Over time he became the ambassador of the section. He broke up a fight. He stepped in the way of a drunk guy who was swearing around kids and got the guy tossed. He led cheers faithfully. And in the finale he was unstoppable. He led cheers, he shook hands with everyone in his section, he hugged many goodbye. This guy hosted a veritable love-in in the stadium, snapping photos, cheering, dancing, doing everything a true fan does. When the game ended, he stood and high-fived everyone as they left the stadium. So as the season ends, we salute Super Fan. We don't know your name, but we in the media who watched you all year can only admire your effort and dedication. Super Fan, this one's for you.

3 and Out

They knew full well that they could control their destiny, and they did not. Tough break, but choking against weak teams is not what winners do. They had every opportunity this year to get to the playoffs. They played in a weak division, had a weak schedule and had the element of surprise on their side this year.

That won't be the case next year, so I expect to enjoy more whining from the Browns fans next year.

Thanks,
Me

Dear Me,
Now folks, "Me" in this case is not me, the author of this newsletter. Even though Me gave me a compliment (don't insult Terry Pluto, though, he'll hit me with one of his books).

Me is whoever wrote this e-mail. Me included his or her e-mail address, but not a name other than Me. Which may in fact be his (her?) name.

Were my mom to name me Me, I'd be pretty disappointed.

All the grade-school kids would have laughed at Me -- worse than they did in the first place. Like when my mom made me wear a red velvet sportcoat. Other grade-schoolers got a huge kick out of THAT one.

Once took my rabbit, Harvey, to third grade. Mrs. McNeeley let it hop around. The class liked that.

I digress.

Even if Me didn't include his name (assuming it's not Me), I liked the letter, so I printed it.

But I still think the Colts' offensive effort the other night was bad. Real bad. They tried, but they were inept.

So it goes.

Dear Pat,
It's too bad the Browns are so bad that they have to rely on another team losing to make the playoffs. Beating one winning team all season entitles them to nothing. The Colts actually have a chance to win something, so they rest their starters. Perhaps someday the Browns will be in a position to do the same. Right now, Browns fans can sit around and cry and moan; it's what they do best.
Mike Hanna
Mayfield Heights

Dear Mike,
Can't disagree with you.

But I quibble with one point. The Browns really didn't cry or moan. They were matter-of-fact about the fact that they blew their chance.

It was dopes like me who whined.

And the fans have been pretty upset too.

Dear Pat,
I, like many others, think that Brady Quinn may have a promising future with the Browns. On the other hand, I know that Derek Anderson has already led the Browns to 10 wins in 15 starts, while orchestrating an entertaining offense like none that we have seen since the return of the Browns. He has done this in his first full season (almost) as a starting NFL quarterback.

So, I find it ridiculous that fans would even suggest that Anderson should be replaced with Quinn after one really bad outing, during which he turned the ball over four times and the team was still in position to win the game in the closing seconds. It happens to the best quarterbacks in the league.

In week 10 against San Diego, Peyton Manning threw for 2 TDs and 6 interceptions in a losing effort. Also, in a week five shocker against Buffalo, Tony Romo threw for 2 TDs and 5 interceptions in a game the Cowboys barely escaped with a win.

I wonder if anyone thought those guys should be benched?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing DA with Manning or Romo, I'm just saying the performance in Cincinnati doesn't mean that his job as starting quarterback should suddenly be in jeopardy.
Jason Menchhofer
Celina, Ohio

Dear Jason,
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I've never been around a town where one bad game can make a guy go from a hero to an idiot.

Derek Anderson deserves the respect he was given in the finale, when he was put back into the game for the second half.

Anderson had as good a season as any quarterback has in a long time.

He deserves plaudits, not persnickety sniping.

Kinda like that word.

Persnickety.

Don't ever remember using it before.

Thanks to all,
Pat

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