What would we do without "The Onion?" Enjoy the following editorial from "Gerald."
I know this is going to come across a bit harsh, but I want to get straight to the point. Speaking on behalf of myself and all other completely nonhuman members of my species, I must insist that the practice of anthropomorphizing us stops right now.
I am not a human. I am a dog. I can't talk. I can't say a full sentence. Not even close. I can't experience complex emotions, I can't laugh, I can't rob a bank, and I have no idea that my name is Gerald. I can't even write, people, so please stop this anthropomorphizing business this instant.
It's not funny.
Editor's note: This is "The Onion" we're talking about, so be prepared for a "bad" word before clicking through to read it. You have been warned...
- 2014 (21)
- 2013 (135)
- 2012 (353)
- 2011 (380)
- 2010 (415)
- 2009 (776)
- 2008 (2)
Stories via email
Sign up to receive a daily email containing new posts published on pets.ohio.com.