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Ocker's The Write Stuff

Sheldon:

I know Kelly Shoppach is Paul Byrd's personal catcher. Last year, they would usually play Victor Martinez at first base whenever Shoppach was catching Byrd.

Do you think they are going to continue playing Victor at first when Byrd is pitching, to keep Victor's bat in the lineup? I think they need to keep Victor's bat in the lineup as much as possible.

Chris Prokop
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Dear Chris:

Eric Wedge wants Victor in the lineup so badly, he's trying to figure out a way he can catch and play first, so he can bat twice.

In contrast to last season, the Shoppach-Byrd combination has not been automatic, because of the team's offensive deficiencies. Consequently, you probably will get your wish.

Sheldon Ocker
Mr. Ocker:

Why do the Indians only play the Red Sox twice in Cleveland and four in Boston?

John Pelini
Dear John:

Do you know the sound of one hand clapping? Didn't think so. Trying to figure out a reason for the asinine schedule conjures up the same kind of question.

Fact is, I don't think anyone knows. A computer in a far off land spits out the schedule, and refuses to explain itself. Moreover, nobody in charge seems to want to ask.

S.O.
Mr. Ocker:

I'd be willing to bet that if Hafner changed his diet slightly, cutting out bad carbs, etc, he'd be mentally and physically quicker.

White foods, such as bread, rice and potatoes, make a person lethargic. Hafner looks very lethargic to me. I've enjoyed reading your articles for years. It helps a lot for this Ohio transplant.

Rev. Dana Reynolds
Lawrenceville, Ga.
Dear Dana:

Are you sure you're not referring to me?

You presume to know what Hafner eats, which is more than I know, and I'm several hundred miles closer to him than you. Moreover, your suggestion carries with it the implication that his eating habits have become unhealthy only in the last year, when his slump began.

I tend to believe that whatever Hafner was eating when he was hitting a ton (pardon the expression) probably is what he eats now. So let's focus on another possible problem area: Maybe, like Samson, he needs to let his hair grow long.

S.O.

Sheldon:

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