Happy Groundhog Day Week!

Yeah, right. I don’t care whether the dirty little rodent sees his shadow or not. All I know is we still have 41 more dismal days before daylight saving time kicks in.

I’d wish you a happy Super Bowl Week, but that’s a sore spot, too. My team won’t be there for the 52nd consecutive season.

Harumph.

So I guess I’ll just try to amuse myself by looking through the mailbag.

Breaking news

It’s nice when the powers-that-be help the media disseminate information to the public. But that concept can be taken too far.

On Wednesday, the Summit County Executive’s office sent out this email:

“Summit County Animal Control is currently experiencing technical difficulties [that] are impacting the phone system.

“The animals are safe and are being cared for as the county works to remedy the situation. An update will be sent when the phones are operational. …”

They had to assure us the animals were safe despite a telephone problem? Are the dogs and cats being forced to work as telemarketers?

That news release, sent at 10:51 a.m., was followed 17 minutes later by this one:

“The phone systems at Summit County Animal Control have been restored after a brief outage earlier this morning.”

Hoping the animals were still OK.

More LBJ trivia

Reader Keith Patti, who graduated from St. Vincent-St. Mary the same year as The Chosen One, offered an additional trivia question after my column about The Unofficial LeBron James Trivia Book.

When LeBron James asked Keith Patti which wrestler wore his Irish 23 jersey on a telecast of SmackDown! in 2003, he replied:

A.) Chris Jericho

B.) Edge

C.) John Cena

D.) Lita

Says Patti:

“When we’re about to graduate, I had seen John Cena wear an Irish 23 out to the ring, and I told [LeBron’s teammate] Sian Cotton that when we were rehearsing for graduation.

“LeBron called over to me, ‘Keith, which wrestler?’ and I replied, ‘John Cena.’ 

“It was very kind of him to ask me himself and I’ll always treasure the fact LeBron James spoke to me directly.”

Isn’t it amazing that somebody can remember a five-word conversation 15 years later? You’d think LeBron James became famous or something.

Ill winds

Several folks at the Beacon got a customized news release last week from the American Lung Association.

Well, it was sort of customized. The Chicago-based charity’s email began like this:

“The American Lung Association’s 2018 ‘State of Tobacco Control’ shows Ohio earned mixed grades on its tobacco policies.

“The 16th annual report grades states and the federal government on policies proven to prevent and reduce tobacco use, and finds that while Ohio has taken significant steps to reduce tobacco use, including smoke-free air laws, elected officials must do more to save lives and ensure all Michigan residents benefit.”

Wow. I didn’t realize our southerly winds were that strong.

Tough choice

This has been making the rounds, but, for those of you who haven’t seen it, I can’t resist:

A recent classified ad:

Attention!!!! A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super Bowl at U.S. Bank Stadium, both box seats. He paid $5,350 each and didn’t realize last year when he bought them that this was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It’s at St. Peters Church in St. Paul at 5 p.m. Her name is Julie. She’s 5’4”, about 125 lbs., she’s a good cook.…

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31