The inbox overfloweth after a column in which I sang the praises of the month of June in Northeast Ohio, including several emails offering great additional observations.
ROCKING THE DOC
Bob: Thanks for saying what I have been telling friends and relatives about Akron since moving here from Columbus 11 years ago.
I grew up in Southern California and left there to join the Army after finishing my residency in pediatrics at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. I “acclimatized” to cold and gray winters during my tour of duty in Germany.
I began my academic career at the University of Iowa. I chose Iowa over California because it was a better place to raise four daughters, with less traffic, more affordable housing, season changes, less glitter and plastic and no Disneyland as a cultural icon.
After 25 years at the Ohio State University, I retired 11 years ago. My wife, a practicing child psychiatrist, and our newborn daughter moved to Akron.
Why Akron? It is hilly; Columbus is flat. Akron Children’s Hospital prioritizes patient care over research and national visibility, and the hospital and community supports services for mental health.
Our daughter attends school in Copley, which provides her with an exceptional education.
Add to your list of attractions: Lock 3, RubberDucks, Blossom, Portage Path, Weathervane, None Too Fragile, Akron Symphony, University of Akron, E.J. Thomas Hall, Akron Art Museum, Akron Civic Theatre, Summit Artspace, restaurants with quality foods from a variety of cultures, BLU Jazz+, a laudable daily newspaper, Stan Hywet and two accessible airports.
Let’s keep the attributes to ourselves and publicize the snowy gray winters lest we suffer from an influx of residents who will fill the streets with trash and cars, long lines to attractions and ruin everything.
Dr. Charles Felzen Johnson, M.D.
THE SMALL THINGS
Bob: What a delightful column! I finally found someone who loves this month as much as I!
I can sit outside and be thankful for every leaf and blade of grass, and smile nonstop at the mother bird on her nest.
Often when I spout ecstatic words of thanks and praise, good folks respond with, “Oh, fall is my favorite.” I respond that in the spring everything is new and fresh and clean and growing, while in the fall all I see is death and dying and acknowledge what is soon to come.
You probably don’t remember the song from “Oklahoma!” where the heroine sings “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,” but she, with great joy, sings what I am feeling.
Thank you for brightening this old lady’s day.
These lofty opinions of June are not unanimous, though.
I got one email complaining about how hard it is to keep the plants watered and also got the following gem via voicemail.
The caller was an older woman who — surprise! — didn’t leave her name.
The message lasted three minutes and 49 seconds. And since we’re keeping score, she invoked the phrase “crack(s) of their ass” six times.
Here are the, um, highlights.
“I enjoyed your article about June being a great month. It is — except when you go to the beach and see these fat-ass people with the cracks of their ass hanging out of their bathing suits, especially men. …
“I shouldn’t say it’s always heavyset people. It’s also the thinner people, men particularly, wearing their bathing suits too low. …
“One couple, a nice-looking woman, just a little overweight, not extremely, nice turquoise shiny bathing suit, sitting on a blanket, and her husband or boyfriend is showing the crack of his ass. He was a little overweight, not as bad as some.
“And the guts on these people! They hang over the bathing suits. It’s just disgusting. You don’t even enjoy going to the beach because of these people. …
“Can’t these women tell their husbands, ‘Hey, pull your bathing suit up’? Are these women so afraid of these men? …
“This is just disgusting. Even when you go to the mall, people are sitting on chairs and these men particularly, you see the crack of their ass because they buy pants three sizes too small.”
And a happy June to you, too, dear.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or firstname.lastname@example.org. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31