Bob: The new Goodyear dirigibles are slick, but I miss the unique sound the old blimps emitted. When you heard that sound, you would look up to see one of America’s favorite icons.

But now there is no sound, and no notice. You only see the dirigible if you happen to look up at the right time. And because the new models are so much faster, by the time you get your phone or camera ready to snap a photo, it’s gone.

My suggestion: Goodyear should install a device on the new dirigibles that plays the recorded sound of the old blimps so that once again we can enjoy the sight AND sound of our beloved blimps.

What do you think?

Cari Miller

Akron

Cari: I think that’s a ridiculous idea. But I love it.

I, too, miss the unique drone of the old engines that signaled their slow approach from miles away. If you can persuade Goodyear to spend money to create more noise, though, you could sell Nikes to LeBron.

Top-flight typo

Bob: I was very intrigued to read about the “chicken coup” in a recent edition of the ABJ. Do you suppose it was an armed takeover?

Candy Kimball

Copley

Candy: I think they did it with their claws. Jurassic chickens.

Rising tide

Bob: What I saw today in Stow:

White Cadillac CTS with a Domino’s Pizza Delivery sign on the roof.

Appears the economy is going strong, employment is up, great jobs, and trickle-down economics is working.

Mike Boles

Stow

Mike: Somewhere Ronald Reagan is smiling.

Personal problem

Bob: I was amused to find out in a recent edition that pole-sitter Kyle Larson finished 14th at the NASCAR race at Sonoma because “he couldn’t keep his rear end under control.”

Doug Jenney

Akron

Doug: Maybe one of his sponsors is Depends.

Time to reset

Bob: I have two modest proposals that Donald Trump can initiate that will break the chains of unfortunate 20th-century habits.

1. Eliminate the playing of the national anthem at all public assemblies.

Of course, he can’t forbid it as if he were Caesar, but this infatuation of commencing events with the national anthem began in 1918 during World War I. Thus, it has been with us for 100 years. On its centennial, it should be bid “adieu.”

2. Cease inviting winning teams, regardless of what they’ve won, to the White House.

Follow the sensible sentiment of Calvin Coolidge who, when introduced to the Chicago Bears in 1925, told them that he always appreciated animal acts. Coolidge didn’t know they were a football team and probably didn’t care.

But, in a larger sense, all of this sporting nonsense is nothing but entertainment — truly animal acts for mass entertainment on which the enterprising can make a buck.

Not all ways to drain the swamp are obvious.

Mary Deal

Akron

Mary: So can we assume you don’t have season tickets to the Browns’ games?

Bumpy roads

A friend gave me a copy of his father’s 1948 Ohio driver’s license, which he came across while going through his parents’ estate.

If you don’t think the process has changed a bit since then, get a load of this.

Among the yes-or-no questions drivers were required to answer:

“Are you an habitual drunkard?”

“Were you ever judged insane, an idiot, imbecile, epileptic or feeble-minded? If so, have you been restored to competency?”

I am often judged by readers to be an imbecile or an idiot. Although none of them seems to believe I have been restored to competency, thus far I have had no problem renewing my license.

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31