I wasn’t planning to write another column about sports, but you guys are so funny that you forced me to.
EVENING THE SCORE
This arrived after I expressed my contempt for people saying a basketball player “scored the basketball,” rather than just “scored.”
Bob: I think I know what’s wrong: You, an admitted non-sports journalist, are a Jock-Hater.
You would have no problem if John Williams (the composer, not Hot Rod) said he was going to score the basketball. The same if your high school metal-shop teacher indicated he was going to score the basketball.
What’s the real story?
Dale: The real story is that you are an extremely bright, creative person, as are all of my readers. Except for three. But that’s not important right now. What is important is that I miss the late Hot Rod Williams’ hairdo, particularly since Iman Shumpert has forgone his trademark Even Higher Than Hot Rod’s ’Do for more traditional cornrows.
Shump said the old ’do took too much time to do. Where are the man’s priorities?
Bob: Just finished reading your interesting account of “Dumb phrase is not scoring points.” I have a couple of other dumb phrases to add to yours.
Some years back, sports announcers and the print media began using the phrase “took him deep,” referring to a batter hitting a home run. I think that is totally inane.
Then, more recently, I began hearing the phrase “walk-off homer” or “walk-off double.” This makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.
I can see an actor walking off the stage or a someone walking off a porch, but for a baseball player to do this “walk-off” thing when he’s at the plate? Totally illogical.
What is your opinion regarding these two stupid phrases?
Clyde: You’re asking for my opinion as if ordinarily I wouldn’t offer one?
Yes, the phrase should actually be “a run-off double,” because neither the runner who scored nor the batter who reached second was doing any walking. And nobody is going to walk around the bases after hitting a homer without risking a fastball to the noggin the following game. Heck, even on a “walk-off walk” the runner would at least jog to first base.
But “took him deep” doesn’t bother me nearly as much as announcers saying a basketball player “has length,” rather than “is tall,” or a quarterback runs a “vertical offense” instead of “throws long passes.”
Bob: Two more phrases that have irked me for a long time in the game of football.
They are the so called “play-action pass” and, when a defensive back is in pursuit of a ball-carrier running down the sideline, the description, “He’s got an angle on him,” as if that’s an advantage.
Is not a “pass” a play as well as a “run”? Shouldn’t the determination be a “run-action pass,” since they are trying to deceive you with a fake “run” to catch you off guard for the eventual “pass”?
As for the other Sportscaster Misconception: Never is there an advantage to having “an angle” to a ball-carrier running down the sideline.
Given all things equal and the pursuer and ball-carrier starting out at the same line of scrimmage — the short leg of a right triangle — and the ball carrier runs down the sideline — the long leg of the right triangle — the pursuer becomes the “hypotenuse” of said triangle, which is always longer and never a benefit! The only “advantage” the pursuer has is he really starts out farther downfield than the ball-carrier, which is basically a “head start” and less yardage to travel.
Just call it for what it is! Please!
Winston: Finally! Someone has solved the mystery of why the Cleveland Browns have been so bad for so long. They’re simply not drafting talented hypotenuses.
Just so you know that I know what the letter “J” looks like, here is the primary logo for the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, who were purchased in 2015 by Akron RubberDucks owner Ken Babby and renamed this past offseason.
The logo printed in Tuesday’s paper is a secondary logo worn by players only during batting practice.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31