Greater Akron has given birth to more top spies than Ian Fleming.

If you’re not up to speed on the inner workings of the Central Intelligence Agency, you might not realize our area can lay claim to spawning two of its important honchos, one retired and one just named to the highest job in the entire agency.

The appointment of Cuyahoga Falls native Mike Morell to acting director earlier this month brought a big smile to the face of a former colleague, Bill Fairweather, who moved back to Akron after a 33-year career.

Fairweather, a 1968 graduate of Revere High School, rose through the ranks to become the head of special investigations for the internal security arm of the CIA. He says he worked on “some serious matters” with Morell after Morell was named associate deputy director in 2006.

In that spot, the third-highest in the CIA’s “executive food chain,” as Fairweather puts it, Morell oversaw the entire day-to-day business and operations of the agency.

No, you wouldn’t expect one former CIA official to trash another CIA official in the public prints. But the praise Fairweather offers for Morell is notably effusive.

“Mike, who’s a serious guy, brilliant and a very, very quick study, performed exceedingly well as the associate deputy director,” Fairweather says. “I found him to be insightful, decisively level-headed and a true ‘thinking’ leader — not to mention a seemingly great guy.”

This is Morell’s second stint as acting director. The first came after Leon Panetta was moved to Secretary of Defense and before the appointment of Gen. David Petraeus, who, as you might have heard, recently ran into a bit of a snafu.

Fairweather says President Barack Obama’s decision on a permanent replacement for Petraeus should be easy.

“The president could do no better, in my view, than to remove the ‘acting’ moniker and make Mike Morell the director of the CIA,” he says. “Both the president and this country would be well-served.”

Speculation in the national media has Morell as the frontrunner.

And what were those “serious matters” that Morell and Fairweather collaborated on?

Ha! Like they’re going to tell us.

Too touchy

Our cup runneth over with entertaining police reports. The first arrives from pastoral Copley Township:

“A Kings Court woman, 29, was issued a citation for disorderly conduct. Her boyfriend called the police saying she was damaging property inside and outside his residence.

“She apparently became agitated when he started having sex with another female in front of her.”

Some women have no sense of humor.

Measured response

A lack of domestic bliss also was evident in Canal Fulton, where a 41-year-old woman “was charged with assault, disorderly conduct and criminal damaging.

“She allegedly kicked in her ex-boyfriend’s door and grabbed his genitalia and would not let go when he confronted her. She is also accused of scratching another woman inside the home.”

Wonder how long it took him to “confront” her?

Chop the talk

Coventry Township offered up this gem:

“A Ponciana Avenue man, 56, was jailed on an aggravated menacing charge for allegedly threatening a female Summit County sheriff’s deputy.

“The suspect was quoted saying, ‘If that female deputy that just harassed me gets near me again, I’m going to pull her out of her car and show her what being a black belt is all about.’?”

Great thing to say to people carrying guns.

Fuzzy writing

Amused by my passing mention of the mascot contest being staged by Northeast Ohio Medical University — a school without a sports team — reader Tim Erskine went to the NEOMED website to read more about it.

After he did, he shot me this note:

“Did you notice that this is ‘... the university’s first ever “official” mascot contest’?

“How often are they intending to choose an official mascot, and why the quotation marks?”

Not even the CIA could uncover those answers, Tim.

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.