Chuck Ausherman may or may not have had a hand in shaping American political history. He’s honestly not certain. But that hasn’t assuaged his deep sense of guilt.
Even if you’re an avid fan of Don Trump’s presidential bid, you should find this amusing.
Here’s the deal.
The Rev. Charles Ausherman is Missionary Emeritus at the Bath United Church of Christ, an honorary title conferred on him for his several decades of serving overseas.
Back in the 1950s, during his junior and senior years in seminary, Ausherman was assigned to Marble Collegiate Church in Manhattan. Senior pastor at the time: Norman Vincent Peale.
The world-famous minister and author attracted some of the most famous and wealthiest New Yorkers — including Trump’s mother and father.
Ausherman was in charge of the Sunday school. Because of that, he figures, “at age 11, Donald was most probably a member of the Sunday school that was under my charge as a seminary intern.”
Although Trump is no longer an active member at Marble, he attended for years, married his first wife, Ivana, there — with Peale presiding — and had his first child baptized there. The New York Post claims that’s also where he met his second wife, Marla, while still married to his first.
So the odds are quite good that a preteen Trump repeatedly interacted with a young Ausherman.
Quips the octogenarian: “Imagine the guilt I feel now as a resident here in Akron for not doing a better job in training little Donald to behave as a good Christian — which would include not fighting with the pope.”
Ausherman quotes Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a little child and when he is older, he will behave better.”
The Sunday school was not large compared to the size of the congregation, but it included Peale’s two daughters — who certainly had Ausherman’s full attention.
He believes that’s why he probably neglected The Donald.
“My only excuse is that I favored the Peale kids in hopes that they would say nice things about me to their father, who was my boss.
“I even made sure that in the Christmas pageant, which I wrote and directed, the best parts went to the daughters of Norman Vincent Peale.
“Their father told the audience afterward what a wonderful job we did.
“I can just imagine Donald sulking with envy caused by my neglect of him.”
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
I’ve seen people get pretty worked up about their favorite sports teams — sometimes to the point of loud arguments — but I’ve never heard of a dispute quite like this.
The setting: 2 a.m. in the parking lot of a strip club on West 117th Street in Cleveland. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, a 24-year-old guy visiting from Florida started arguing with a local guy about which state has better strip clubs. The argument grew so vehement that the local guy pulled out a gun and shot the tourist in the left thigh.
Gotta love that hometown pride.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or email@example.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31