DEAR ABBY: I have been married to “Roman” for 13 years. He has always been a man of few words who didn’t initiate much on his own, so I stepped up to bat and did everything. I took over all aspects of our married life — from bill paying to home maintenance to romance. He would tell me how grateful he was to me for doing it.
His adult daughters from a previous marriage have always been cold to me, and I recently found out why. It turns out Roman made up horrible, untrue stories behind my back. He painted himself as the victim of abuse! His daughters staged an “intervention” to save their dad, and Roman went along with them. He cleared out our bank accounts, hid money and assets and filed for divorce. I was stunned.
Abby, he went along with the charade for a week — until his guilt got the better of him, and he admitted he had made it all up. He claims he doesn’t want to divorce me after all. He said he made up the stories to get his daughters’ attention.
Roman and I are now going through counseling. The problem is his daughters still believe the lies. Have you any advice for me? — Older, Wiser and Heartbroken
Dear Older, Wiser and Heartbroken: Your letter made me furious. It proves that with your husband no good deed goes unpunished. Had you not taken on the functions your husband avoided, your credit would be shot, your house would be a wreck and your sex life nonexistent. And for this your husband slandered you?
If I were you, I’d contact a divorce lawyer AND a forensic accountant, divide the assets and let the daughters take care of their ingrate of a father.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.