Three pieces of campaign literature that were circulated before last week's Akron primary election left us scratching our heads.

Bruce Kilby must have recycled his stuff, because it said he represents Ward 10, which he hasn’t for a decade.

Zack Milkovich thought Russ Neal represents Ward 10. No, Zack, you do.

Perhaps voters noticed. Both Kilby and Milkovich lost.

And then there's the People’s Convention PAC, which misspelled two names — Milkovich and Veronica Sims — out of the nine it endorsed.

Given the cost of producing and distributing this stuff, you'd think these people could devote a minute or two to proofreading.

Ain't we sexy?

No doubt employing a stringent scientific method, with control groups and double-blind tests, an organization called Big 7 Media has determined that Northeast Ohioans have the 23rd sexiest accent in America.

Must be true. It's right there on the World Wide Web.

Our voices are way sexier than those of the lowlifes in the southern part of the state. They finished 45th out of 50.

“Clevelanders might say they don't have an accent, but oh-boy, they really do," says the report. "They speak with hard, nasally A's and short O's that sound more like an A.”

Big 7 Media bills itself as a must-see site for “travel, food and hotels for a mobile-first, millennial audience.”

The sexiest accent in the U.S.? Texas, allegedly. “Who can resist a slow, Texan drawl? Not us, and not our community, clearly. The typical Texas accent is a Southern accent with a twist, with strong R's and plenty of 'Howdys.'”

The website says the second sexiest accent is in Boston, followed by New York. Which kills any last shred of credibility the list may have had.

Wacky festival

I can't believe I missed this last weekend. In fact, I somehow have managed to miss it for three decades.

The website Crawford County Now informs us that the Tiro Testicle Festival completed another successful event on Sunday.

Each year, the tiny town of Tiro, about 20 miles west of Ashland, serves up almost 600 pounds of battered and fried calve and pig testicles.

Among dozens of photos posted on the site is a young woman holding up a T-shirt that reads, “Tiro Tavern's Testicle Festival. You'll have a ball.”

The shirts are big sellers, as are souvenir caps.

There's live music and lots of beer. It's the biggest bash of the year for the town of 266. Judging by the photos, the event draws folks of all ages and lots of bikers.

As you're leaving, you see a sign reading, “Thanks for tasting my nuts.”

Gotta love it. Mark those 2020 calendars!

Football overload

This from Ken Kolke of Stow:

“Did you ever notice all the new specialty coaching titles people hold now, particularly in football? Take a look at the Browns website, for example.

“On offense, there are two guys that hold the title of 'offensive quality control coach.' What?

“On defense, you have two guys with the title of 'defensive quality control coach.' There's also a guy with the title of 'run game coordinator' and another guy with the title of 'pass game coordinator.'

“As football accrues more administrative titles worthy of the Pentagon, maybe you can put on your investigative cap and find out what these people do day in and day out and how much they get paid. You never hear of them otherwise. No wonder ticket prices continue to climb.

“Whatever happened to simply 'see ball, catch ball' (offense) and 'see ball, tackle ball' (defense)?”

You are correct, Ken. Any resemblance of modern football to former players or coaches, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

We can't even begin to count the dramatic changes the pro game has undergone, but here's a big one.

My parents used to live in the same Cleveland neighborhood as Browns defensive back Warren Lahr, a star during the 1950s who is still second in team history in career interceptions. He needed an offseason job to make ends meet.

Can you imagine Denzel Ward selling insurance for seven months a year to pay his bills?

 

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31