It's been a grim winter. So let's have some fun.

Mistaken identity

The spellchecker on my email suggests that the correct spelling of Kasich is “Chicksaw.”

Name games

From Mark Wiggins on Facebook:

“I was on the elevator at Akron City hospital today. The man riding up the elevator with me exclaimed, 'Look, they named their elevator! This one's called Otis!' I really think he was serious.”

Odd goal

An item in my favorite newspaper probably could have been worded a bit better:

 “The Chapel in Marlboro: … 6:30 p.m. Mondays, 'Celebrate Recovery,' a 12-step recovery program for hurting people and those who love them.”

Wrong continent

Ah, the life of a publicist at an internationally known institution of higher learning

Eric Mansfield, chief spokesman for Kent State, shared the following exchange of emails:

Eric:

I'm a French journalist working for France 3. I'm working on a report about Erasmus students and Brexit. I would like to interview one of your French student (who is already ok) in your university. Would you tell me who can give me the authorization to film on your campus ? I also would like to interview someone of the university on this topic

Thank you by advance for your help.

Best regards,

Hélène Tonneillier

Journaliste rédactrice

 

Helene,

Thanks for reaching out. Do you already have a specific student here at Kent State to interview? And when would you be coming to campus?

I’ll be glad to help if I can.

Eric

 

Hello Eric,

I’m sorry it was a mistake. I tried to reach someone of the University of Kent in UK…

So sorry. Have a nice day.

Helene

 

Quips Mansfield: “And here I was brushing up on those six years of French class I took in school. What’s French for, “Whoops, you guys aren’t the school I’m looking for”?

Imaginary snow

OK, this one is hilarious on one level, but not the least bit funny on another.

A full six years after North Hill resident John Fankhauser send me a video of a city of Akron snowplow “plowing” a bare, dry street, he sent a new one. This one is even more ridiculous. Check it out:

https://tinyurl.com/y4y8sjen

What on earth are these people thinking? Anything?

Tasty entrances

Are you one of the 3.5 million Americans who bought a video doorbell last year?

If so, here's the bad news: Despite claims to the contrary by the largest manufacturer, Ring (which was bought by Amazon last February), there are no independent studies that confirm that the presence of video doorbells in a neighborhood deter crime. To the contrary. One independent study involving about 1,500 households in Utah's second-largest city showed a much bigger drop in crime in the neighborhood that was used as the control group.

That's kinda funny, but not as funny as this: Apparently there are multiple people who really like to lick doorbells.

I know. Hard to wrap your head around. But we have indisputable video evidence.

Some goofball in Salinas, Calif., was recorded licking a doorbell — for three hours. Another buffoon in Lake Worth, Fla., took a bunch of licks, walked away, and came back to take another.

Could be worse. Could've been the Kenmore Pooper.

 

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31