We would be journalistically irresponsible if we failed to publish this news release in its entirety.

“COLUMBUS — Scott Wiggam (R-Wooster) today announced the passage of House Bill 59, his legislation to make the month of April Ohio Native Plant Month.

“HB 59 seeks to increase public awareness of Ohio’s native plants and the many benefits native plants have on the health of Ohio’s environment, including pollinators, and the potential benefit to Ohio’s economy.

“ 'Ohio Native Plant Month will help the nursery and landscaping industries have a platform for boosting sales and will increase public awareness of the positive environmental impact that native plants have on our local ecosystem,' said Rep. Wiggam.

“HB 59 passed the Ohio House unanimously and will now head to the Ohio Senate for further consideration.”

Unfortunately, stiff opposition is expected in the Senate, thanks to heavy lobbying by the non-native plant industry.

We kid.

Thank goodness the Ohio House is capable of a unanimous vote on something. Something really, really important. Something that is certain to skyrocket sales at nursery and landscaping businesses. Why, the instant I finish this sentence, knowing what I now know about native plants, I'm heading out to buy a couple of truckloads of them, and will urge my neighbors to do the same.

I predict the sales tax revenue from all the additional native plant sales will be so monumental that the legislature didn't even need to mess with that gas-tax thing.

Daylight savior

When someone told me a bill had been introduced in the Ohio Senate to “eliminate” daylight saving time, I was livid.

I thought that meant we'd be going back to standard time all year.

Um ... never mind.

What Kristina Roegner, R-Hudson, wants to do is make daylight saving time permanent, not eliminate it. Sign me up for that.

I like daylight. We get so little sun around here that squeezing out another hour on a nice evening is priceless.

(I realize we don't actually get more daylight. It's just timed better.)

However, what is being billed as the main reason to keep the same time year-around — not having to move our clocks forward one hour in the spring, thereby creating dangerous sleep deprivation — is hilarious.

As if people always go to bed at the same time every night.

We're talking about one lousy hour. Whose life changes because he or she gets eight hours of sleep six days a week but only seven on one particular night?

If you're complaining about losing a single hour once a year, are you claiming you never stay out later than usual? You never watch an extra hour of TV because you're engrossed in a movie or sports event? You never push back bedtime because you can't put down a great book?

Didn't any of you ever have a baby?

Haven't you ever flown to a different time zone? If you hop on a plane and head to California, you gain THREE hours. And when you come back, you lose THREE hours. I don't see passengers jumping off the Huntington Tower because they can't cope with three-hour gains and losses.

Research reportedly shows an increase in fatal crashes and a decrease in workplace productivity the day after the time changes. Well, somebody ought to check those same stats for the day after the Super Bowl. Or the day after St. Patrick's Day. Or ....

Repeatedly redundant

After perusing a column I wrote about things that don't make sense, a loyal reader who bills himself as “Yer Friendly Local Priest in Beautiful Downtown Kenmore, Michael B. Smith,” zoomed in on another one.

And he nailed it, pointing out that many obituaries now involve individuals who were “predeceased in death” by family members.

Says Smith:

"It's part of my professional life to follow the obituaries in Our Favorite Newspaper. Why this dumb phrase continues to appear baffles me.

"Funeral directors:

"Use 'predeceased by ...'

"Or 'preceded in death by ...'

"Or 'following the late ...'

"Or 'joining the deceased members of his family ...'

"I guess the handmaid in nonsense would be the phrase 'surviving in life ...', though I have yet to see that one in print."

Maybe those funeral directors are the same people who came up with the stickers that graced Circle K gas pumps: "Please prepay in advance."

Somewhere, someone is probably working on new stickers that say, "Please prepay in advance before you're predeceased in death."

 

Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com. He also is on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bob.dyer.31